Of IOTV and SRP

The desire to write yesterday after a long day of training was like a man adrift in the desert, searching for water. After the day that we all had though, I needed a gatorade, so instead of writing, I called my girlfriend. Her gain, my gain, my gentle readers' loss. Wouldn't change it for the world!

Yesterday began at 0400 (we were all racked out and asleep nearing 1230 so it really wasn't much sleep) and we began our trips to the different stations to receive the newest in uniforming the army had to issue. Issue days at CIF (Central Issue Facility) for our RFI (Rapid Fielding Initiative) are always kind of strange. On the one hand it's a bit like waking up to presents beneath a tree. You know that you're going to get some good stuff - you can even hedge your bets that it is going to be EXPENSIVE good stuff; heck, you don't even have to be good to get it! But they will make you wait in line all day.

We were all really pleased to receive our new ACU (army combat uniform) shirts for wear with the IOTV (Improved Outer Tactical Vest i.e. body armor) as they combine the best of both worlds - gone is the zipper of our ACU tops digging into our bodies while we wear body armor! Gone are the days of fumbling with velcro sleeve pockets! Here are the days of...not wearing said shirts until we're told we can. They are moisture wicking and and made of a softer material on the sleeves than our normal ACU tops, and I'm certain that they'll be worth their weight in gold (they're very light, too, but gold is going for about $1000 an ounce...maybe they aren't quite worth that, but several of them would be!). We shuffled down the line and received the new flame retardant uniforms that we will be wearing, and though I haven't really experimented with them, they look pretty spiffy. We also received some new pads for our ACH (Advanced Combat Helmet) and I was shocked...SHOCKED! to find that they were out of my hat size for the boonie cap (or sun hat as it seems to be officially labeled; that however makes me think of a big straw bonnet, which this is not). My shock and near disdain of the supply system comes from the simple fact that of all the myriad items I've purchased for myself over the years for the Army, I have put my foot down when it comes to this hat. So I've gone to supply...for nearly three years, requesting one. The wait continues.

Now these new items filled half of another seabag (the army insists on calling them duffle bags, but somehow GySgt Arp calling out the name of things as he threw them at us has drilled the name 'seabag' into my head). As we packed the hastily labeled bags into the back of a box truck we all soldiered back to the position of back-lean-and-rest on the bus. Outside we could hear the soft cooing noises of Sgt. Joyce attempting to entice the largest pigeons I've ever seen down from one of the buildings. Some of us drifted to quick sleep, others texted, or made phone calls, and others just wandered off to the latrine, or the shopette, the px, or various vending machines.

Eventually we all gathered for the second part of our issue. The IOTV. At least that was mostly what we were forming up for. As I quickly learned we would be receiving a few other things. A canteen (I have three camelback hydration systems with me) that I quickly questioned why I needed. The answer filled me with dismay: CBRN (formally called NBC, CBRN stands for Chemical Biological Radioactive Nuclear) is my least favorite part of anything. If you think you're having a bad day, get tear gassed. It will become exponentially worse. When I simply hear the word said (it's pronounced see-burn) I can already feel CS (tear gas) burning my eyes out of their sockets, filling my lungs with unusable gas, and generally making my life awful.

How are canteens associated with CBRN? Well, gas masks have a drinking tube attachment (no eating tube attachment yet that I've found) that functions excellently with canteens but not so well with camelbacks unless they have a specific type of seal, a specific type of adapter piece, and then an adapter piece that fits into the adapter piece. Canteens though have the adapter's build in.

We also received a wet weather bag, which has been an elusive (like the boonie hat) piece of army equipment that up until now I had heard of bet never actually seen. Now I have one! The chances of rain here are slight at best, so it becomes one more item of issue to carry. If you're curious as to what it does, it keeps whatever is in it dry, or so I've been told.

Then came the long process of fitting for the IOTV. The new armor is vastly superior in fit than the last kind! The new kind has a fast release tab for those moments when you just don't want to wear it a moment longer than you must, and also secures to the body much more like a police vest (which I'm used to wearing) and not at all like the old vest which ground itself against your spine, crushed your short ribs, and sat heavily upon your shoulders. The new one is like getting a giant bulletproof hug. It carries more armor than the last one, too, and offers much greater protection. For all of these amazing positives, there must be a negative, right? Right! It's a lot heavier than the last one to lug around in a seabag!

I'll try to get some pictures of all this fancy new stuff up here soon - just so that those of you back home understand why we all like this so much better!

Today was the dreaded SRP (I have no idea what it stands for, but one guess is Slow Retarded Progress) that we have gone through I believe four times in the last 12 months. It's a bit like a gameshow for the extremely masochistic. The goal is to take as much time as possible to receive a 'Go' at each of several dozen stations. The stations will test your readiness in such diverse areas as: Financial! Personnel! Dental! Vision! Immunizations! Health Assessment! Baseline Vitals! Hearing! and the always popular, never going out of style, powerpoint presentations!! And rather than have one contestant at a time, picture, if you will, an entire companies of soldiers jockeying for position in the lines, attitudes and breath becoming only worse as the day progresses.

Our day began at 0200. First formation was at 0300. One of the platoons - not mine - decided to be fashionably late. We made it in line for chow by 0400. Chow opened at 0430 and we proceeded to eat the very edible bacon, scrambled eggs with ham and cheese, and hashbrowns (which I've yet to try, but I hear are very good!). The only ruination of my breakfast occurred when I asked my battle buddy to pass the pepper. He heard salt. I took the shaker (not looking at the contents) and liberally dosed my meal with it. Ugh. But otherwise quite tasty! By 0515 give or take we were at the SRP site milling around like flightless birds from the Galapagos islands (now extinct) and waiting for our paperwork. Then began, slowly, ponderously, like a gathering biblical storm, the SRP process.

First stop was Financial, where we were assured that the army does not need a copy of our lease/rental agreements in order for us to be paid. We attempted to shove them on the Specialist working there, but he wasn't having it. My fingers are crossed for our housing allowance. Then Personnel, where I came within a hair's breadth of FINALLY getting a copy of my 2-1. (The 2-1 is a form which carries a list of much of a soldier's most basic information - ASVAB scores, unit assignments, weapons qualifications, schools attended, etc.) My 2-1 has become a sort of holy grail for me as I strive to put together my Sergeant packet. It is the final piece of paperwork that I know exists that I need. I saw the packet it currently resides in sitting on a desk, asked for it, and I think because of either an Army or a Spanish language barrier, was unable to secure a copy. The search continues.

Afterward began the long line for MED 1. Medical 1 was to establish baseline vitals (BP, Height, Weight, Pulse Rate). I was pulled to MED 2 by a Medical Officer and thought to myself, "Myself," says I, "This is going to be GREAT!" and not just a little great, but full on Tony the Tiger Frosted Flakes G-R-R-R-R-EAT! I was the next soldier to be called (skipping a station to complete two tasks at one station is nice!) when the examiner went on lunch. Back to MED 1 for me. MED 3 was the next stop and first stop there was the blood draw for HIV. Four times in a year! The phlebotomist was skilled and the draw was over quick fast and in a hurry. Next stop was...something else, I don't recall exactly what, possibly sitting in a chair, and then was immunizations!

I'm pretty up on my immunizations, and lucky enough to never really, really badly react to them. Today was going to be TB test, H1N1, and Smallpox. Luckily for my tattooed self, partially healed tattoos push back the Smallpox vaccine which I'm in no hurry to receive. Unlucky for my tattooed self is that the TB test is very difficult to administer to a person with ink in their forearms. A site was found, the day was saved, and the H1N1 went by without a hitch. Dental my teeth were given a 'Go' as soon as I smiled. At vision I discovered that I can read a wall chart, and then it was outprocess and done. Total time from wake-up to finish was about ten hours. The time after that was what truly dragged.

With nothing really left to accomplish I set out to see if anyone else was finished. I found that my Platoon Sergeant had breezed through the process along with our Warrant Officer and one of the squad leaders. I'm almost positive that the Chief put on "party in the u.s.a." once it was discovered that 1) yes we could leave the SRP site and 2) we had transportation to the main PX (post exchange - a kind of all in one mall). The shopping expedition was fruitful (I had new name-tapes made and bought a bottle of water and gum) and we returned to the SRP site to sit in abject misery for another 7 hours.

But we're back in the barracks now, I was able to write for a bit, and I found a Bawidamann pin-up girl shirt that I'd wanted for some time. It has a SAW gunner on it, and as a gunner, I felt compelled to buy it. And yes, I know it serves no useful purpose. But it is cool.

For now though, it's time for bed!